"Wendell Baynes Takes a Leap"
The film is about what happens when squirrels stop being squirrels and start being robots. In short, it is about the plight of the working man and also pirates.
Wendell: Male, 71-72. Should be at least 6 foot 7 with a penchant for cashew nuts and a disdain for Gerber baby food. The character is a lost soul with a club foot. You do not actually have to have a club foot, but those with club feet will go to the top of the list.
Mary Anne: 3,000 years old. Queen Squirrel. Hot headed, even hotter boobies. Must provide own costume, i.e. the role calls for you to be completely naked for the whole film just as squirrels are every day. We're going for a real method actress here. It's a plus if you are incredibly hairy/incredibly willing to let the director drill you 3 times a day.
Also needed: 300 midgets with their own leaf blowers.
Tryouts are at my uncle's garage - 22 Dearborn Ave. Paloma, Wisconsin.
-You bring the booze, I bring the love
-Irish need not apply
A Blow-Jo Adult Entertainment Production