Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Monkey Presents Hamlet

To Be or not to be, that is the question. whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageuos fortune and to then and only then to consummate roughly upon thine bed many a vagina out of wedlock....with my cock.

To sleep perchance to dream: ay, there's the right there to the left. A little bit harder...oh you 've got it! Thank you! Now where was I? Ah, yes...
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come but those where I wake in the middle of the night and must rush most exquisitely mine sheets to thine washer.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time except those that be of the most kinky disposition. 555-5555 is the number that belongest to mine heart. Ring upon that line not before the hour of 4 on weekdays for I work the early shift at Ye Olde King of Moo Burgers. The boss is a major douche.

Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well. A jester of jokes, a tickler of fancies. A handler of goat testicles. I knew him well. And to that end I must say we got it on not once, but many times a fortnight. Oh there were many sloppy days with Yorick....of course he was dead long before I was born, so you can imagine the amount of KY it took to get into that sucker!

To thine own self be true. Oh but that line lies asleep with another character. That, Pelonius guy. That 'tis who speakest those words....Dickbag...he hath retrieved my best foil from the parlour claiming it as his own. Hamlet swears that by the end of the day he shall feel Pelonius' blood on his hands!

Well, I'm off to sleep with my crazy sister and leave my whole famly dead. Ta!

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